The couch sores will now fester for a different reason: baby. Before it was just pure laziness, but these days, it really is physically difficult to get myself off the couch.
So the story goes like this: a couple years ago, Tim and I thought we might be reaching a point in our lives where we were ready to reproduce (attempt to avoid visualizing). We got up the courage to "try," thinking this was it. After having been so careful in the past, one time is all it takes, right? Well yeah, for some people, like those women who ovulate 16 times a month. Well let's just say it took more than one try.
After spending months believing the slightest twinge or symptom was pregnancy, multiple negative pregnancy tests, several months of no drinking for no good reason (I attended my 10th high school reunion sober... terrible mistake), we started to feel a little hopeless. I can't tell you how many times I heard "just stop trying and it will happen!" That is neither true nor helpful. When it finally did happen, its because we REALLY EFFING TRIED. The morning I took the home pregnancy test, I peed on it and left it in the bathroom without looking at it. About 10 mins later Tim and I went in there together, flipped it over to see the positive result. Tim's first reaction was "Uh oh!" and mine was "Ho-ly shit."
The next week brought feelings of excitement, terror, and uncertainty. I tried not to rest on the idea that this baby was 100% sure to happen. I kinda tried not to think about it much, even though I still did, constantly. The cat started to give me dirty looks. I spent one week in this strange, worried, secretive bliss.
Then on precisely the first day of my 6th week, I ate a string cheese and felt kinda sick afterwards. I thought maybe it was expired or something and I would feel better tomorrow. "Tomorrow," however, I felt worse. I instinctively treated my condition like a hangover: with eggs and cheese and pizza and such. That did not help. By the weekend, food sounded disgusting. I realized this wasn't spoiled cheese, it was pregnancy. I spent hours and hours on the internet trying to figure out what was going on, and to my horror, I learned that this was only the beginning.
THE SICKNESS. I refuse to call it morning sickness because it is not at all limited to the morning. It has been referred to as "progesterone poisoning," which is a term I find quite fitting. There were many suggestions. Crackers, ginger, bread, fruit, anything that sounded edible should be eaten. I learned it was best to keep food in your stomach: this was harder to do than you'd expect. My usual diet consists of a lot of vegetables, plant proteins, and whole grains. My new diet was 1/2 servings of refined carbs that would most likely end up in the toilet. For about a week, all I could eat was cheerios. I was cold, exhausted, pale, and hopeless. The excitement of of having a baby was being entirely overshadowed.
It was frustrating to feel so terrible and realize there was actually NOTHING wrong with me. It's actually supposed to be a GOOD thing to feel so bad because it means all systems are go. There were moments in those first few weeks that I thought I would just crumble into a heap. I would cry and collapse to the floor, and totally freak out Tim. I did find that I felt slightly better after weeping.
By the time I went to my first doctor's appointment, I had lost 6 pounds in about 2 weeks. Without hesitation, the nurse gave me medicine to help with nausea which I took right there in the office, which I was very thankful for. Within minutes, I realized I didn't feel like I would vomit at the slightest trigger. It was a miracle (sortof)! The medicine "took the edge off" nausea, but it often makes its way through. It also has its own set of side effects. I found a dosage that I have been sticking to ever since. I've missed a day here and there, and I was reminded of those first few weeks immediately.
Imagine you drank 15 shots of Jagermeister, then caught the stomach flu and a sinus infection, all on the same night. Now imagine how you would feel the next morning. That would be a rough day. Now imagine that feeling day and night for months. Pepper in some headaches, heartburn, leg cramps, intestinal dismay, unexplainable drooling, mysterious itchy patches, pee leaks, tingling limbs, chronic coughing, dry heaving, B.O. that smells like taco meat, and there you have the magical experience of growing a baby inside you!
These days, I am still experiencing sickness, but I have it much more under control. I think I felt the best on the day we got to see this:
So the story goes like this: a couple years ago, Tim and I thought we might be reaching a point in our lives where we were ready to reproduce (attempt to avoid visualizing). We got up the courage to "try," thinking this was it. After having been so careful in the past, one time is all it takes, right? Well yeah, for some people, like those women who ovulate 16 times a month. Well let's just say it took more than one try.
After spending months believing the slightest twinge or symptom was pregnancy, multiple negative pregnancy tests, several months of no drinking for no good reason (I attended my 10th high school reunion sober... terrible mistake), we started to feel a little hopeless. I can't tell you how many times I heard "just stop trying and it will happen!" That is neither true nor helpful. When it finally did happen, its because we REALLY EFFING TRIED. The morning I took the home pregnancy test, I peed on it and left it in the bathroom without looking at it. About 10 mins later Tim and I went in there together, flipped it over to see the positive result. Tim's first reaction was "Uh oh!" and mine was "Ho-ly shit."
The next week brought feelings of excitement, terror, and uncertainty. I tried not to rest on the idea that this baby was 100% sure to happen. I kinda tried not to think about it much, even though I still did, constantly. The cat started to give me dirty looks. I spent one week in this strange, worried, secretive bliss.
Then on precisely the first day of my 6th week, I ate a string cheese and felt kinda sick afterwards. I thought maybe it was expired or something and I would feel better tomorrow. "Tomorrow," however, I felt worse. I instinctively treated my condition like a hangover: with eggs and cheese and pizza and such. That did not help. By the weekend, food sounded disgusting. I realized this wasn't spoiled cheese, it was pregnancy. I spent hours and hours on the internet trying to figure out what was going on, and to my horror, I learned that this was only the beginning.
THE SICKNESS. I refuse to call it morning sickness because it is not at all limited to the morning. It has been referred to as "progesterone poisoning," which is a term I find quite fitting. There were many suggestions. Crackers, ginger, bread, fruit, anything that sounded edible should be eaten. I learned it was best to keep food in your stomach: this was harder to do than you'd expect. My usual diet consists of a lot of vegetables, plant proteins, and whole grains. My new diet was 1/2 servings of refined carbs that would most likely end up in the toilet. For about a week, all I could eat was cheerios. I was cold, exhausted, pale, and hopeless. The excitement of of having a baby was being entirely overshadowed.
It was frustrating to feel so terrible and realize there was actually NOTHING wrong with me. It's actually supposed to be a GOOD thing to feel so bad because it means all systems are go. There were moments in those first few weeks that I thought I would just crumble into a heap. I would cry and collapse to the floor, and totally freak out Tim. I did find that I felt slightly better after weeping.
By the time I went to my first doctor's appointment, I had lost 6 pounds in about 2 weeks. Without hesitation, the nurse gave me medicine to help with nausea which I took right there in the office, which I was very thankful for. Within minutes, I realized I didn't feel like I would vomit at the slightest trigger. It was a miracle (sortof)! The medicine "took the edge off" nausea, but it often makes its way through. It also has its own set of side effects. I found a dosage that I have been sticking to ever since. I've missed a day here and there, and I was reminded of those first few weeks immediately.
Imagine you drank 15 shots of Jagermeister, then caught the stomach flu and a sinus infection, all on the same night. Now imagine how you would feel the next morning. That would be a rough day. Now imagine that feeling day and night for months. Pepper in some headaches, heartburn, leg cramps, intestinal dismay, unexplainable drooling, mysterious itchy patches, pee leaks, tingling limbs, chronic coughing, dry heaving, B.O. that smells like taco meat, and there you have the magical experience of growing a baby inside you!
These days, I am still experiencing sickness, but I have it much more under control. I think I felt the best on the day we got to see this:
Yep, the gummy bear. It waved hello and everything. It's still pretty tiny, which is why I am still mostly bumpless:
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