So it has been 6 months since Wren joined our family. That is wild and crazy. In that short period of time, she has gone from a little sleepy blob of a baby to a mini person, with her own likes and dislikes, and an amazing curiosity and determination to fully absorb everything she can. Even though I am with her all the time, I never get sick of looking at her, and just being amazed that she came to be.
Breastfeeding is a TON of work, but worth the effort. She did successfully latch when she was nursed several minutes after being born. In the days following, it would sometimes take me up to 20 minutes to get her to latch, but we just kept trying. In the first few weeks, I was producing oodles and oodles of milk and everything seemed to be going well, but then things got much harder. Wren and I developed thrush, a yeast infection in her mouth which she passed on to my skin. You know the term "searing pain"? Yes, that perfectly describes it. Imagine having an open wound, that someone rubs salt in, and then starts yanking on your skin. Yeah. Thankfully, we got some medicine which I took orally, but cleared up the situation for both of us as it passed through my milk.
The first few weeks of breastfeeding were a little awkward, trying to get the hang of the whole thing, and get the timing right while visitors poured in and out. I got a portable pump and stationary pump (covered by insurance) and the portable pump worked much better for me. It took some time to get the hang of pumping as well. At one point I had the suction level up too high and literally started pumping blood into the bottle below. It didn't hurt but pretty much scarred me for life.
About 2 months in, we were doing a lot of pumping and bottle feeding so I could trade off night duty with Tim. Because of this, my aforementioned ample supply started to diminish. Wren also isn't the biggest eater. She is almost always willing to take the breast or the bottle, but she sometimes loses interest after a few minutes and wants to move on to something more interesting, especially during the daytime hours. I developed mastitis in my left breast during this time, pretty soon after getting over thrush. For that, I had to go on an antibiotic.
At Wren's 4 month check up, the doctor was concerned that she wasn't gaining weight fast enough. She was well below the expected percentile, and had only gained about 2.5 pounds since she was born. I agreed that she was skinny. I began to work on increasing my supply.
One of the hardest things about breastfeeding is the fact that you are sustaining a life with nothing but your body. Yes, this is also the case while you are pregnant, but that baby is with you no matter what, and taking what he or she needs. There are so many stars that need to align for breastfeeding to be successful, and when they aren't fully aligned, it is incredibly stressful. An exclusively breastfed baby is tethered to you. I basically can't be more than a few minutes drive away from her at any time, and for no longer than a few hours. If you try to take a break and let someone else feed your baby for a while, then your boobs get full and painful, and eventually take the signal that they don't need to make as much milk. You can't take a day, or even a night off. People will criticize you if you have a drink, or coffee or try to diet, which is upsetting because sometimes you just want a break and people don't understand that breastfeeding is a stressful full time job.
So the doctor told us she needed to gain more weight. After working so hard, I had to work harder. I tried all sorts of old wives' tales suggestions: I drank glasses of oat milk, tons of water, started taking the herbal supplement fenugreek which makes you sweat maple syrup odor (seriously). If the baby didn't empty my breasts, it was on to the pump. I started to either pump or feed every hour, which takes 10-15 minutes each time, all day and all night long.
At 4 months, Wren entered "sleep regression," waking up every 30 mins to 1 hour. This was exhausting and frustrating to say the least, but the good thing about it was that she was eating much more during the night time hours. Unfortunately during this period, we got thrush again. I recognized it right away and got the same medicine to clear it up, but this time it took longer to heal. With both mastitis and thrush, you don't need to stop nursing. In fact, with mastitis it actually helps to nurse more often.
What have I learned from all this? That breastfeeding, just like having a baby, is really hard, but it is not forever, and even if someone runs into a mess of roadblocks, it can be done. Some women who would love to nurse never get the opportunity because of a variety of reasons (premature baby, latching issues, breast issues, etc.), but if you have any of the problems that I had, I want to tell you not to give up. It is hard, but even with all the struggles I've had, I think of breastfeeding fondly.
Breastfeeding is a TON of work, but worth the effort. She did successfully latch when she was nursed several minutes after being born. In the days following, it would sometimes take me up to 20 minutes to get her to latch, but we just kept trying. In the first few weeks, I was producing oodles and oodles of milk and everything seemed to be going well, but then things got much harder. Wren and I developed thrush, a yeast infection in her mouth which she passed on to my skin. You know the term "searing pain"? Yes, that perfectly describes it. Imagine having an open wound, that someone rubs salt in, and then starts yanking on your skin. Yeah. Thankfully, we got some medicine which I took orally, but cleared up the situation for both of us as it passed through my milk.
The first few weeks of breastfeeding were a little awkward, trying to get the hang of the whole thing, and get the timing right while visitors poured in and out. I got a portable pump and stationary pump (covered by insurance) and the portable pump worked much better for me. It took some time to get the hang of pumping as well. At one point I had the suction level up too high and literally started pumping blood into the bottle below. It didn't hurt but pretty much scarred me for life.
About 2 months in, we were doing a lot of pumping and bottle feeding so I could trade off night duty with Tim. Because of this, my aforementioned ample supply started to diminish. Wren also isn't the biggest eater. She is almost always willing to take the breast or the bottle, but she sometimes loses interest after a few minutes and wants to move on to something more interesting, especially during the daytime hours. I developed mastitis in my left breast during this time, pretty soon after getting over thrush. For that, I had to go on an antibiotic.
At Wren's 4 month check up, the doctor was concerned that she wasn't gaining weight fast enough. She was well below the expected percentile, and had only gained about 2.5 pounds since she was born. I agreed that she was skinny. I began to work on increasing my supply.
One of the hardest things about breastfeeding is the fact that you are sustaining a life with nothing but your body. Yes, this is also the case while you are pregnant, but that baby is with you no matter what, and taking what he or she needs. There are so many stars that need to align for breastfeeding to be successful, and when they aren't fully aligned, it is incredibly stressful. An exclusively breastfed baby is tethered to you. I basically can't be more than a few minutes drive away from her at any time, and for no longer than a few hours. If you try to take a break and let someone else feed your baby for a while, then your boobs get full and painful, and eventually take the signal that they don't need to make as much milk. You can't take a day, or even a night off. People will criticize you if you have a drink, or coffee or try to diet, which is upsetting because sometimes you just want a break and people don't understand that breastfeeding is a stressful full time job.
So the doctor told us she needed to gain more weight. After working so hard, I had to work harder. I tried all sorts of old wives' tales suggestions: I drank glasses of oat milk, tons of water, started taking the herbal supplement fenugreek which makes you sweat maple syrup odor (seriously). If the baby didn't empty my breasts, it was on to the pump. I started to either pump or feed every hour, which takes 10-15 minutes each time, all day and all night long.
At 4 months, Wren entered "sleep regression," waking up every 30 mins to 1 hour. This was exhausting and frustrating to say the least, but the good thing about it was that she was eating much more during the night time hours. Unfortunately during this period, we got thrush again. I recognized it right away and got the same medicine to clear it up, but this time it took longer to heal. With both mastitis and thrush, you don't need to stop nursing. In fact, with mastitis it actually helps to nurse more often.
What have I learned from all this? That breastfeeding, just like having a baby, is really hard, but it is not forever, and even if someone runs into a mess of roadblocks, it can be done. Some women who would love to nurse never get the opportunity because of a variety of reasons (premature baby, latching issues, breast issues, etc.), but if you have any of the problems that I had, I want to tell you not to give up. It is hard, but even with all the struggles I've had, I think of breastfeeding fondly.
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